The Nice Person’s Introduction to Rough Sex

The Nice Person’s Introduction to Rough Sex

You actively look for pregnant ladies to give your seat to on the bus. You always hold open doors for strangers. You help your friend lug a sofa across town and up five flights to their new apartment. You’re a nice person.

So when someone yells at you to slap them across the face in the middle of sex, you freeze. The nice side of you doesn’t want to hurt them, but the caretaker side of you feels like you should fulfill their request. And, if you’re really honest with yourself, there’s a little part of you that’s curious about what it would be like to actually slap someone.

What is rough sex, anyway?

Most people would describe rough sex as some combination of wild, animalistic, passionate, kinky, or raw. It’s not defined by one specific action, but can include things like one person being dominant, roleplaying, talking dirty, spanking, biting, scratching, or using props like restraints, paddles, or whips.

One way or another, rough sex is more intense than everyday sex. Clients in my sex therapy practice say that consensual rough sex is fun because it’s so intense. There’s a sense that you’re breaking the rules or doing something you shouldn’t be doing. That element of the taboo makes it all the more thrilling. Continue reading “The Nice Person’s Introduction to Rough Sex”